It's just like the Real World with babies
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize