I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
