one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
