i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
