we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize