She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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