so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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