His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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