Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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