i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Randomize
