you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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