The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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