I'm gonna have a badass scar
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize