You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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