yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
