you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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