He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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