problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
