the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
All the doctor said was why
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
