why didn't you poke me back
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
