you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
