Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
