I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
