I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
