I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
