did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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