Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
