yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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