Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize