I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
