Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
