I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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