She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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