READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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