You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
