i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize