just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ketchup is God's man juice
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
