Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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