Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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