I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
