Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
FUCK WHALES
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
