Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
