just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Randomize
