I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
