So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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