Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You pole danced in your parka.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
