What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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