and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
