they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
