I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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