Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
