I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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