Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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