My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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