So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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