i'm signing you up for texting rehab
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just had sex on a roof
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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