I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
