Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
